"... but I'll rise above this."
I swear.
It was only today that I was telling Kate that this song can't help me anymore, I've associated it far too much with the ex best friend...
But right now it's on repeat and its the only thing I can cling to.
And I am.
You should watch the video.
Call the clowns and listen closely, i'm lost without you
Call your name every day when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Hate the mind, regrets are better left unspoken
For all we know, this void will grow and
Everything's in vain, distressing you though it leaves me open
Feels so right, but i'll end this all before it gets me
Call your name every day, when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Call your name every day, when i seem so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this doubt
I'll mend myself before it gets me
(i'll mend myself before it gets me)
I'll mend myself before it gets me
(i'll mend myself before it gets me)
Call your name every day, when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Call your name every day, when i seem so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Forty eight ways to say that i'm feelin' helpless
Fallin' down, fallin down', but i'll rise above this, rise above this
I'll be back later.
Forgive me. Words aren't really working for me right now. How do I explain the pain, both physical and otherwise, that is clenching within me right now? Oh, to be a year ago. Oh, to have that again.
I can't even bear to go on MySpace anymore.
I don't know how I keep doing this. Why is it even freaking worth it anymore??? Please god tell me there is a reason. Because, because I can't really see that there is. I know that's because I'm so freaked out right now, for god's sake i am fucking trembling, it is so hard to type, but still, at this point in time, i don't see the point
i mean i keep doing the same fucking thing anyway
time and time again
do i not learn
if i keep going this way i will lose everyone i care about eventually
i know, this will pass
i know i'm overdramatic
how could i let this happen
how could i freaking do this
imissthemsomuch
nothing i do can ever make up for this
ever
there is nothing that could replace what i lost
and regardless of every other mistake i have made and fuck knows i've made a lot, that is the biggest regret i will have
and i will never forgive myself
i
no, what i am going to do is go calm myself down for the next few hours. to sleep or not to sleep? sleep --> most likely dreams concerning them. no sleep --> definite thoughts of them.
"but i'll rise above this"
cross your fingers for me.
Posts
I did mean the previous comment in a good way. And I mean this one too; don't un-associate yourself with things because they remind you of someone you perhaps don't want to think about so much anymore. I tried it and in the end it only disadvantages you. Congratulations on looking past that and embracing something that has the potential to make you feel somewhat better.
ReplyDelete-RaspberryHatter
sigh. thank you for the comment. (:
ReplyDeletei decided i wasn't done and added to the post during the process of your commenting, i suppose.
i love seether. sooooooo much. their music always helps me. they originally come from south africa (my country) & i've listened to them for years & years.
ReplyDeleteyou'll rise above this :) stay positive
=(
ReplyDeletemy fingers are always crossed for you
^_^
LOVE xx