I'm not going to get it.
Things like that don't come wrapped up. Maybe it won't ever come at all. But I'll still wish for it, each and every time I catch the clock at 11.11. First just a thought, scared it will move to 11.12 before I'm done. Then in word form. And sometimes out loud, under my breath, just to make sure.
Next I'll run around the house waiting for each other clock to hit the same number, and I'll wish again. Just in case, I wish on 10.22PM too, because that's 22.22 in 24 hour time; perhaps that has some magical property too... And even though I don't even believe there's anything special about 11.11, I wish as hard as I can anyway. Because maybe it will help. Maybe.
Somehow.
For the first star I see each night, I stumble through the rhyme I barely know, just so I can make this wish.
"Star light, Star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I make a wish
With all my might.."
It's something along those lines...
I'm not superstitious. But I'll take the chance. It can't hurt. Nothing could hurt more than this
I'd do anything.
Just for some Simple Plan, "Another day, is going by, I'm thinking about you all the time... But now you're gone, And I can't think straight... I close my eyes, And all I see is you, I close my eyes, I try to sleep, I can't forget you."
"And I was trying to disappear,
But you got me wrapped around you
I can hardly breathe without you
I was trying to disappear
But I got lost in your eyes now,
You brought me down to size now."
These lyrics seem somewhat at odds to me. If I could rearrange them, they would look more like this: -
"You got me wrapped around you,
I can hardly breathe with you
So I was trying to disappear.
But I got lost in thoughts of you,"
Or something like that lol.
Mmm love the song. Half Alive by Secondhand Serenade. You have probably heard their song "Fall For You" lately. It's been getting loads of radio play, within half an hour, in three different shops, Kathleen and I heard it three times. In that entire day, we heard it about 10 times in different shops and in the car on the radio. I can't even bring myself to hate it because of all this mainstream exposure.
Yeah I don't know why but I hate listening to mainstream music that everyone knows. Although I like people liking the same music as me. I love the alternative scene. And I don't like the metal scene but I love the music (:
Anyhow, I heard Secondhand Serenade through my recommendations on Last.fm, not through the radio >.<
I'll explain more about this whole disliking radio music because it is radio music later, probs just add to this post.
Hope you're all having a great Christmas.
"Is it broken?
Can we work it out?"
I've never wanted anything more.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
There's only one thing I really want for Christmas
"Christmas time is buzzing in my skull"
Will it let me be?
I cannot tell."
So I love the Nightmare Before Christmas. And before I had the chance to blog about this much celebrated holiday, Christmas is upon us.
"There are so many things I cannot grasp
When I think I've got, and then at last
Through my bony fingers it does slip
Like a snowflake in a fiery grip"
As I have mentioned before, I am a member of a Christian family. Even practically all of my extended family are Catholics. When I say practically all, I mean there is literally one and he's married into the family, who is a non practicing Hindu. This, then, is the reason so many are surprised that we barely celebrate Christmas.
My parents will give my sister and I gifts, yes, but barely. It is more often than not in the form of money, which doesn't make for the most interesting of presents, although I can always do some more. What other presents we received were almost invariably actually given to us post-Christmas, thanks to the mid-financial year sales. Smart, yes. The only reason we actually do get presents is so "we don't feel left out". At least, this is what my parents used to tell others.
We also go look at Christmas lights, but that's about it.
The reason we don't celebrate Christmas is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. When missionaries first came to some large country, or possibly Europe; yeah I'm not too sure; anyhow the native people had lots of celebrations for their gods; the missionaries, not wanting converts to feel left out and become dissatisfied with Christianity, decided to designate this day as Christmas, "the birth of Jesus". And no one really knows which date Jesus actually was born on. So according to my parents, it's stupid to celebrate because of its origins. By my reasoning, it doesn't matter what the origins are, what matters is what it means to you as you celebrate it. For all the non Christians who celebrate Christmas, its a good time to spend with family and give each other gifts, and be joyful and all that jazz. In the same way, it can be to truly celebrate Christ's birth if we so wish.
One thing about me, I love traditions. I love the idea of heirlooms and I have tried to construct family trees, I love old things that continue on. I love the idea of Christmas, the festive spirit, although we all know it has been completely commercialised, but as I said before, I believe that its what you make it. Not even necessarily the idea of Santa; I never believed in Santa Claus either by the way. Not sure I'd want to, you'd be so disappointed when you find out he isn't real lol. And I'm not too keen in believing in something that isn't real. But Christmas in general seems like such a fun idea.
When I have my own family, we will celebrate Christmas. I determined this a long time ago. We will put up a tree and decorate it, and lights around the front of the house. Our family has put up a Christmas tree once during my life.
Another thing. My parents actually used to celebrate Christmas, when they were Catholics. When they became Christians, it was to become part of what some would call a "legalistic" church, that is, they wanted to abide by every possible law in the Bible, so it was very strict; they believed that women shouldn't really wear pants due to a Biblical passage stating that women shouldn't wear men's clothing; although my mum, my sister and I still did, but not to church. So that is where this idea came from. We have changed churches now, although there was actually much to admire about the beliefs of this former church of ours, but there is time for that in another post.
So anyhow, I hate that we don't really celebrate Christmas. I think my parents have finally begun to grasp that, although my mum worked this Christmas morning and the last one too; my mum encouraged my dad to take us out to The Pancake Kitchen for breakfast this morning, and we're having turkey for dinner, even though my mum thinks it is bland and disgusting ;P
Indians and all their spices >.<
I wouldn't mind celebrating Christmas the Indian way actually. It's amazing. Most people live in lanes or apartments in very small estates or apartments in Pune, where my family is from. Around Christmas, they hang huuuuge Christmas stars and other decorations right across the lanes and in the estates. There are Nativity scenes just as big placed around. Motorbikes and / or scooters are the preferred method of travel rather than cars in the city. So these things are so large they are practically fully blocking the streets and bikes can only just get through. They have Christmas shows in these lanes and almost everyone who lives in the lane or the estate, whichever, will participate. And there are fireworks, of course. There are so many people, everywhere. People sell fancy balloons by the road side, which admittedly happens most days of the year anyway. Beforehand, for weeks, people make handmade Indian sweets of all shapes and colours. /shrugs
It's good.
My surprise which I mentioned briefly the other day is that I finally got my Learner's. If you're not Australian, or South Australian, that's for driving, which you have to pass a theory test for. You have to do 50 hours of driving and hold it for a minimum of 6 months. During this time you can only drive with someone with their full license next to you in the passenger seat. You need to have a certain amount of lessons with a driving instructor also. After this, you can get your P1's. This is your provisional license, where you display P plates on your car, but can drive without a fully licensed person. After this, you can get your P2's, where you can take your P plates off, and after I don't know how long of this, you can eventually get your full license.
I failed the test the first time I went for it on my 16th in June, I got really confused on the give ways lol. So it took me this long to go back for the test, since I was so scared I'd fail it again. (You have to get all the give way questions correct, which is the first part of the test. The next is a bunch of multiple choice questions which you need to get 32 out of 40-something correct) But I only got one question wrong on the multiple choice this time C: I'm happy. I've already been driving a bit, I drove on the roads straightaway lol. I have driven before, but not on roads that are used by anyone else and not since last year. But it's fun (:
And I don't think my parents are so opposed to celebrating Christmas anymore, Mum is thinking of buying ornaments after Christmas for next year, and saying we could put our tree up next year, we still have our old one in the garage somewhere. I just find it sad that I missed Christmas properly, all these years. I would have loved to experience the excitement of waking up on Christmas morning, opening gifts that we had all given each other, spending the day together, having fun and doing family things. Although, we did a lot of family stuff when we were little. But the anticipation in a present being a surprise; it's been a long time since I've felt that. For years I've always known exactly what I was getting for my birthday or Christmas, have even been there when its been bought. In a way, it's good, it ensures that I will like it; but it doesn't have quite the same feeling...
That said, I think too much emphasis is placed on gifts with Christmas these days. Like I mentioned before, Christmas has been commercialised. Retailers place importance on how you need to get presents for other people, need to buy all this new stuff. The stress of this can make Christmas completely worthless. If you feel like you need to get someone else a present because they are getting you one, that is missing the point. You should be giving gifts in love, because you care about the person, and want to express it.
Mmm anyway, I'm done for now, may come back and add to this later, but as you can see, my thoughts are scattered and not well put into words. I need some more sleep. Ah well.
sorry guys
My writing is abysmal right now.
Okay, maybe not quite "abysmal", but it wouldn't make for good reading, and I am definitely not satisfied with it. I'm not a perfectionist, I know on a completely realistic level that I can do better. Thus my Christmas post shall appear later on today.
kthnxbai
Sorry >=(
Have a great Christmas guys (:
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Can't wipe that smile off my face
I know so much is still uncertain, we may never regain the level of friendship we had, but for now I'm willing to lay all of that aside and simply rejoice in the amazement of this, this is a better Christmas present than any I could have asked for...
My Christmas miracle (:
LOL
Emma has made me see the brightest side to this, while we are still awkward and our conversation thus far has been limited mainly to discussing music and the game he was playing, and a couple of other things, as well as old memories but nothing too important... I have talked to the ex best friend for the second time in months and I could be floating right now.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
AWWW this is cute! (:
found it on someone else's blog
There IS a "Secret Santa." Perhaps you've heard of him. I got an email from him last year after I shared the following story.
This real guy walked into the local thrift store and stepped in front of a fella who tried his best to move out of the way. "I'm Secret Santa and I want you to have this," the stranger said as he handed his victim 2 hundred-dollar bills. "Merry Christmas!"
This anonymous Santa is a businessman from Kansas City. His plan is to cross the country, going into dozens of thrift stores, laundromats and bus stations, and walk up to hundreds of strangers who seem like they could use a Franklin or two and light up their lives.
By Christmas this stranger will have given out $75,000. "Is this for real?" the victim asked. "It's for real, buddy," Santa said. "And I can keep it?" "It's yours and you can keep it." "God bless you. I was down to my last 20 cents."
The current Secret Santa made a promise to Mr. Stewart, the original Secret Santa, that he would keep the Santa thing alive. Mr. Stewart had invested the last 25 years of his life giving away more than a million dollars -- one Franklin at a time.
I think there really is a secret Santa in each of us -- it's just a matter of letting him out. God put the spirit of giving in us long before anyone heard of Santa.
Inspiration
Larry had been out of work for months, and in early October his home went into foreclosure. He withdrew $300 from an ATM to use as a deposit on a rent house and put the ATM receipt in his shirt pocket.
With everything happening around him, he forgot the withdrawal. A couple weeks later the bank sent a letter reporting over $1000 in bounced checks along with the NSF fees charged by the bank.
Embarrassed by it all, Larry and his wife kept it to themselves. Both took on part-time jobs. And with Christmas just around the corner, they decided this year would be something small for the girls and nothing for each other. They felt alone and powerless.
It was their secret.
Then in mid December Larry found a $400 check in his church mailbox with a note, "From Your Friends. Merry Christmas."
"To this day, we don't know ..."
A couple weeks later, on Christmas Eve, the family was watching TV when the doorbell rang. Outside on the porch they found sacks of groceries, a complete Christmas dinner, dresses for the girls, and a shirt and tie for Larry. "To this day," Larry says, "we don't know who made 3 dresses, and gave us so much at Christmas. It was a defining moment when God reminded us that HE provides."
Motivation
You don't have to have a million dollars to be a blessing to others. But it would be a great secret calling. There are people all around us who need a bite to eat, a cup of coffee, a smile, a conversation, a kind word, a blessing, a prayer, a gentle lift. Do you see them? You've still got time.
You have something very valuable inside you ... a treasure ... the calling to make a difference in someone this week. God has put it on you ... to give to someone in secret.
Don't waste your time wishing for Santa to come to your house, make a secret trip to a house that needs what you have. Ask God to put you in the path of just the right person this week, the one who needs a visit from secret Santa and then discover the joy of the secret.
Don't just wish it, do it.
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(c) 2008 FaithFitness and Ron Rose
http://www.heartlight.org/
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