[Coz I wanted "The Jimit Post" published prior to this]
I know we've been through a lot of different forms of our relationship, from friends --> friends with a few benefits --> unofficially dating --> god knows what else. And I fully thought we were past all that crushes stage, I mean, we've already been there, done that, were together for a few months, even though you could say I cheated on you with the Ex Best Friend in that time but since nothing was ever official I guess that technically I didn't... Whatever. That is something I will probably never tell you.
So I thought we were again at a simple, uncomplicated stage of friends (who hook up, but that's neither here nor there[damn, I am in love with that phrase at the moment, forgive me for its repeated appearance throughout posts]). And lately we have been talking far more than, well, since we were together. We have that ridiculous habit of being in contact a lot, almost 24/7 at times, for a few consecutive weeks, and then falling out of touch and barely speaking until the cycle begins anew. And while the cycle has been run through a few times since last October/November, whenever it was, we hadn't quite reached such a level of constant communication again, till now. Considering my broken phone without text messaging capabilities, this is quite a feat, since we never see each other apart from our organised catch-ups and once-in-a-blue-moon random occasions. Internet and mobile are our main forms of communication, and occasionally calls via the landline, but these have to be planned out in advance anyway so that no one else will pick up the phone, just to avoid any awkward circumstances with family. So, I'm so glad we've stayed in touch so well this time.
I know both of us love this renewed conversationalism between us, and seeing you more often is great. You're funny in that terribly lame way and we just, connect. The only thing that irritates me is the way we never have that serious depth to our relationship; you're just not that kind of person. We talk about serious matters occasionally, but never at length, more in passing. That's cool, you're not really into that kind of thing. But a serious aspect is a huge side of my personality, and that's why we could never have a proper, well, serious, relationship.
But the thing is, I like you a lot. As a friend. And you're a great kisser. So, things are a little blurry right about now, to be honest. I'm not sure if I like you as more than a friend again... I'm not worried about damaging our friendship since we're good like that, but... I dunno. I just don't see it happening, although sometimes I wonder. I would love to know if you have any of this going on on your side, or if it's really just me. But there's no way in hell I could ask, because I've seen (and laughed hysterically) at your reactions to girls telling you they like you, and your inability to respond in appropriate ways. Although they were girls that you aren't attracted to, weren't even very good friends with, if at all, and would never consider them in that way. Whereas I know the opposite is true with us.
So what are you thinking???
And, I'll admit, I'm a little irritated over the idea that Chris has pretty much won. Stupid, maybe, but the first to move on after a break up has "won", and don't try to tell me how childish that is. I don't care that he is with that Ashleigh chick, although I do hate how he avoids me constantly now, even before he got with her. Especially since when I was trying to decide between him and Italics Boy, he said that even if I chose to be with Italics Boy, he's still want us to be friends, etc. And now, we're not. It is the very fear of this occurring that would have never allowed anything to happen with the ex best friend, even if had ever liked me. But this is worth a whole blog post, so, later.
I'm just sayin', I don't want him to think that I care because that is what would really piss me off. Grr. I want to be friends with him. And I'm okay with him "winning the game" because ohmygod i couldn't stand how much he was around at times, and am henceforth never dating anyone at school in the half a year and a bit I have left ever again. Unless they're really special, and unless someone moves here, I doubt that coz I'd have noticed. It's just that he's being so sfjasdkljlds about it. w/e.
So anyway, Jimit, back to you. If there was anyone I could be with right now, it would be you. What can I say, we just work together. ;) And it would make Elyse and that Yesha chick jealous as all hell... Not that I find glee in this idea of taunting these sad, unrequited lovers of yours. Although you've already mishandled the situation enough. ;P
I love you. I'm so glad I know you.