I saw one of my
Today I found out about a new couple. I was freaked out, to say the least, although everyone else seemed completely unfazed, saying it had been a long time coming. I tried to say how it was like if the exbestfriend and i had started going out, and the friend I was with just looked at me, and I admitted that, yes, okay, no one would have been surprised at that with the exception of myself. We could never have been together. Trust me on that. I wouldn't have wanted to risk our friendship, even with my friends urging me to take the chance because it might be worth it, and as much as I wanted to listen to them, I knew he didn't like me, and even if he had...
But that is all null and void now.
Anyway, if we had ever become a couple, I would have been the most shocked person. If I had a clone, she would have been shocked too. What can I say, I am completely unperceptive, totally oblivious. I just... don't pick up on things. It's irritating.
But so I was freaked out by this.
A few people were upset today, and I hate how I never know the right thing to say, I hate how I get the crazy urge to smile in an uncomfortable situation and then my efforts to suppress it leave me with a sickly looking grin/grimace.
This morning began by stepping almost directly in front of a car which I didn't see when crossing the road. It wasn't that close to be honest, but I suck at crossing roads and always freak out. To tell the truth, I was trying to pull myself together. For those of you who don't know, the exbestfriend lives directly opposite me on my street, but I have not seen him leaving for school in all this time, until today. I lost my thoughts for a few minutes there.
And then, meeting my friends getting off the bus, I somehow managed to meet eyes with another one of my
I don't know. I wish I did. Those looks are like... I know I've described them as dead before, as wrong. Whereas such a look before would have led to recognition and a smile, and going towards each other, it is now like accidentally catching the eye of a stranger. But worse. I think she said something similar about it, but I can't remember anymore...
I'm seeing Phantom of the Opera on stage on Wednesday. I'm excited, but organising lifts, etc., is hectic, not to mention schoolwork. Speaking of which, I need to do some now..