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Friday, May 8, 2009

[Insert relevant song lyrics as title here]

I am such a pansy. It's not always a bad thing - I'm not at all keen on horror movies (gross understatement), and I am fine with that. No, what I have a problem with is how scared I am to face up to reality (see example, although I'd like to think I'm not quite that bad.) I hide from facing so many things...
I'm also far too emotional. I have a cry about everything, and look far too much on the negative side rather than the positive side, although, compared to some, I'm absolutely bursting with sunshine...
The point is, I need to toughen up. I thought that I was getting stronger, emotionally, in not falling to pieces in front of my friends. The thing is, all I've been doing is heaping it onto this blog, instead, where I half hope it will remain unread, and half hope that both you who know me in real life and those who are just friends through the blogosphere will listen [read] and sympathise and possibly throw in their two cents, and give me a shoulder to cry on and I hope to god some comfort. Like I said, pansy. I need to stand for myself, and not drape myself all over others weeping and hoping for sympathy and something/someone to lean on.

I am better than that, damnit.

I am stronger than that and I need to start acting that way.

Except it's so easy to forget this shit. I need to put more effort into every damn area of my life.

1 comment:

  1. Interdependence and trust are what make us human. There's no need to be ashamed of need; from infancy through the rest of our lives we all feel it. But if the need you're feeling is to be more independent, pursue it. Just make sure you don't start seeing "help" as a bad word.