i refuse to miss you when i see you walking past, when you're behind me in the canteen line, when we're standing a metre apart in the same room. i refuse to acknowledge you as more than a stranger; beyond that, your presence is irrelevant.
because it's what i've learnt to do.
and because if i let just one thought through, it's opening the floodgates to a veritable deluge of memories and emotions and i can feel my eyes growing darker, darker, pooling to black as i am flooded; although i know this is not visible.
sometimes i even have to stop and think; best friend, do i miss you any more? the answer is still yes, but i'm getting better at forgetting...