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Friday, June 5, 2009

time does strange things. but then, so do i.

i refuse to miss you when i see you walking past, when you're behind me in the canteen line, when we're standing a metre apart in the same room. i refuse to acknowledge you as more than a stranger; beyond that, your presence is irrelevant.

because it's what i've learnt to do.

and because if i let just one thought through, it's opening the floodgates to a veritable deluge of memories and emotions and i can feel my eyes growing darker, darker, pooling to black as i am flooded; although i know this is not visible.

sometimes i even have to stop and think; best friend, do i miss you any more? the answer is still yes, but i'm getting better at forgetting...


  1. I'm going through something similar. It's hard, but it's getting easier as the same time. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself. Anyway. I wish things could be different for you and your ex friend. ):

  2. This has been going since August of last year. You've heard me talk about him, or rather, read what I write about him, many many times. Pretty much anything tagged with JRLB, his initials. It's getting easier, I think. But I almost don't want it to. I want him to be important, I want to feel the pain of missing him everyday because that's all I have left of him and if I don't even have that then I don't know what I'll do...

    I hope things work out with your friend. My other two best friends who were involved and I have just started talking again and I'm so happy that we have at least resolved things, even though it's going to take a lot of work to ever even get near where we were.