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Sunday, November 9, 2008

If I could have put into words just how much you meant to me,

would you still have walked away?

I'm curious. ^_^

The memories aren't so painful anymore, I just remember them and smile, nostalgic. It's seeing you that shocks me into remembering that it shouldn't be like this.

And when I don't see you, I hate that too. I seriously am going to end up stalking someone someday lol, I don't handle endings to relationships of any kind well, unless I initiate them.

I think about Jacynta a lot these days, like, this is what it was like with us from her point of view. Analysing the differences and similarities, trying to see if I could really be that cruel.

It makes me feel so sick to see him talking to my sister on Last.fm. It's fair enough, NIN are his favourite band, but still. I want that. I want him to talk to me. About anything.

J (L)

"It's at the point where I should leave you alone,

But we both know that I'm not that strong..."

I can't let go, and I'm sorry.

1 comment:

  1. it's still hard for Jacynta to let go, I would know.
    So, I can't tell you to hurry up, even though I know that, if you did, you would be much happier.
    And I can't say that it will all go away, because it may not completely. I hope that all the memories make you smile someday and that when you are old and grey, you can sit there and wonder, "what was it that made it so special?" and not be able to remember why it ended at all.

    that sounds mean, because I know you don't want to forget. But I don't like to see you in so much pain.