Sick of this.

Okay, so I have been waiting to see the outcome of this and not writing about it on here, but this is fucking stupid. There is this email going between me, bec and sacha, and jake.

Jake isn't really contributing, which is okay. i accept that he doesn't want to be friends. but sacha and bec, nuhuh.

Okay so now i know what happened. I said something in that email when i was trying to explain myself, and fucked it up badly. But it was about how i'd started avoiding bec that day. but to them it came out sounding like i didn't want to be around them for a while and didn't want them to talk to me at all for a while. Which is why they stopped talking to me. Whereas I didn't understand what happened and freaked out.

Okay, so I should have asked them what happened, like they have said in this email. Instead of just avoiding them, I should have asked "why are you avoiding me" and sorted things out. But I didn't, I didn't think to do that! And so, things are now the way they are.

The thing is, I hate having to take all the blame for it. And I am. Because I will do anything to fix it. But. At the same time.

I'm not trying to blame them for this. But i shouldn't have to take the blame for them misunderstanding what i said, oh i'm sorry i wasn't clear enough and that i think and interpret things differently to you. Yes, after that i handled it badly, but come on! there are certain things that are no one's fault...

I always say sorry first in fights etc. Because i hate fighting and all that. But this is stupid, i can't just take the blame for everything all the time, for things that aren't my fault...

And bec is saying that i haven't done anything to try and fix the situation

When the hell have I had the chance to talk to them in person or actively do anything? They're always with other people....

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm just so, over this and upset and agh.

I want my best friends back.

(LLLL)