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Sunday, February 15, 2009

The other day, the ex best friend waved to me in the school library. I'm still undecided as to whether it was that which made my day or my conversation with this boy... I feel bad coz I know the ex best friend will be brought into this randomly all the time; I managed to relate him to most topics in conversation, still (even if I keep some of this to myself now), and I don't want whatshisface to feel like he's being compared to him... Although that may be kinda what I'm doing.

I always half dreaded the idea of the ex best friend getting a girlfriend while I was his best friend, on the few occasions it crossed my mind, because I knew I would be far too possessive of him to like his girlfriend. She would take him away from me, even just for a bit. And he was pretty much all mine. He didn't have very many other friends and I saw him the most. I loved it. But, what I was thinking, worrying about a potential girlfriend taking him away from me for a little while? I did that all by myself, and for a lot longer...

I liked having such an exclusive friendship. He was very important to me... And although it's completely different (or at least, should be), Rhys [blog name for him soon hopefully] is going to have to have comparisons made between him and the ex best friend for a long time. I don't mean to do it. But I do it with everything and everyone. I can find a connection to practically anything and him. But I'm getting better.

Even with Rhys, I still want that friendship back between me and the ex best friend, and as strong as it once was... Don't even get me started on how much I miss the other two as well. We all know I miss him more intensely than the other two, but I could cope without him better than I can cope without them.

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