I don't really want to drink anymore. I always thought it was stupid. I make no sense, I know.

But anyway, nearly every time I drink something bad happens. Except at my best friend's seventeenth recently; that was fun, and even then, if Chris wasn't, well, if he wasn't who he was, then, well yeah, I'd have just one more thing to regret. Oh and this one other party last year but then I didn't have very much to drink. Those have also been the only two times that I haven't called the ex best friend since. The time before my friend's seventeenth, well, that was bad. I called him about twenty times and left four voice messages on his voicemail. I also called Justin. And then there's the other thing, the thing that I don't really want to talk about yet. I will soon, but not right now.

Drinking is fun sometimes though, with my best friend, with a certain other friend, and with my best friend from school, etc. I just think that in certain situations I should drink less. Even if that means drinking crappy drinks like Pulse and Vodka Cruisers (I'm really not a fan).

I am getting $50 from some guy in my homegroup for swallowing a teaspoon's worth of cinnamon in one go. What to buy? Not credit, since my phone has succumbed to the grave. And this really pretty dress I want is $60. I suppose, if I waited a week, I could get it. I owe a few people money, but no more than ten bucks all up. So many possibilities... I really want new shoes, and new clothes. Not even want, but need. Really.

Sorry for degeneratng into talking about complete random musings here. I really have nothing to write about that comes to mind, except the thing. Like I said, not now.

EDIT: I am so tired. I want to sleep. But I have realised that the thing is, every night when it is time for me to go to bed, I'm almost scared to get off the computer. Some nights I don't even go on until around nine, but I delay and delay leaving because I hate having no connection to other people. Because now I don't have my phone. And I usually have a conversation with someone before I go to bed, be it Chris or my sister or a friend or something, on the phone or in person when with my sister, or even a good conversation over MSN with Nick or the ex best friend, or something. It just helps me sleep better.
I should probably explain just why choosing Chris over Italics Boy was a good idea, especially in hindsight. I know Chris thinks Italics Boy is a total prick after what I told him, but he's not, really. I love how Chris didn't try to convince me to be with him over Italics Boy, but waited until I actually decided for myself. It must have sucked for him. I think I miss him. I wish I didn't get over guys so fast. I don't know.