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Thursday, June 11, 2009

"I'll be Missing You"


hahaha, you'll remember. your proof...

If I "don't even really miss you anymore", then why is it that seeing you makes me panic? And three words from you have me in turmoil for the next hour? Just "How's it going?" I fumbled some ridiculous response... way to go looking like a complete dumbass Toivoa.

... I'd almost forgotten the sound of your voice. And now I've heard it again, I want to hear it all the time. I want you to talk to me like one of the others do. I talk to her heaps now, while I just don't really get that many chances with the other friend.

I want to see you laugh, and I really want to see you smile because even though you hate [hated?] smiling, I found it pretty much the most adorable thing ever.

You know what I miss? Those days when seeing you brought a huge smile to my face, and yours too, and I'd run at you and give you a massive, long hug; and you'd hug me back just as tightly. I loved that I knew you cared about me when you lacked any real response to so much else, and when you told me so, when you said "I love you" just because you wanted to say it and because you meant it. I loveloveloved our friendship. I lovelovelove you.

... but I think that's fading.

And even though I'm beginning to accept that,

I just still really really would give anything to be friends with you again.


  1. Your posts have this amazing ability to break my heart.

    I hope you find some sort of peace with him.

  2. I'm just being honest. Thank you for your empathy/sympathy. I hope so too, although I doubt it...