I'm scared that this feeling will be permanent.
I don't just miss you. I miss what we had. I'm scared that will never come back. I'm scared that maybe I'll always want it, even need it.
I don't fully function without you. My life has sorta shut down since the three of you left it.
I cannot put it into words. You have no idea. Hopefully you never will. Hopefully you do. It hurts to breathe without you. It hurts to live without you. It doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem like living. And when it does, that's painful too. Because my heart rebels against the idea that it could even be like this.
This half... thing we have right now is killing me.
And more than anything I'm scared, that I'll stop missing you. That I'll stop missing our friendship. I'm scared I'll move on. I want to keep this dependence.
p.s. Thought from Tatum Reid at Finding-me - "Trust: something that takes forever to build, and takes but an action... a word....a look... a second...to utterly destroy."