Just a few points.
- The alarm clock that my parents use to wake me up in the morning if they're both at work makes me want to fucking die. It is evil and its shrill sounds were concocted in the cesspits of hell.
- Tonight is going to be one of those nights where homework gets done only by caffeine and light of a phone under the quilt... Not fun.
- While today was not productive school wise, I did piss off vast amounts of people simply be repetitively singing the Shrek karoake dance party song, or whatever the hell its called. Day --> definitely successful. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're more of a douche than the guy who essentially broke up with a close friend over Failbook. Really.
- For the record, you dickface of the previous point, if I was gangster and violent and shit, right about now and yesterday I'd be all like, "Let's fuck his shit up! Son of a bitch goin downnn." I'd obviously throw in some "Aww hell naww"s, something about getting all up in his grill, and definitely "being about to bust a cap in his ass". Luckily for you, I'm not like that, or *insert gangster slang for "i'd kill you" here*. That's right. I'm not someone ya wanna mess with.
- I've been like this all day. This is why I should sleep more and this is why I was asked to "sew [my] lips together like those people in refugee camps". Detention centres...
- I have friends who obviously love me greatly. See former point.
- Oh, Mr Orange. To put it nicely, please staythefuck out of this situation. You know what I'm talking about.
- As for said situation, it's better than it's been in the longest time. Since... August I think. At least, I think it was good.
- I've wished for ages that my eyes would change their shade of colour in accordance with my mood. Today I mentioned this and was looked at like I was crazy. Which is probably true, but still. It would be cool and nothing changes that! Take that, bitches.
- I laughed a lot at something I said today. Yes, I'm that annoying person who finds their jokes hilarious and laughs for ages, while everyone around them hates them for being shit at life. It's all just a part of my day. But anyway, "I put the 'ass' in 'class'. Classy." Bitch, please.
- On that note, this post draws to a close. I'll be back tomorrow with some more of my stupid shit, possibly a further rant at afore-mentioned "dickface", maybe even a post on my long neglected "Let's Talk About the Tour Guide", or perhaps some more of my gloomy outtakes on life. Coz I'm emo like that.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Let's fuck this shit up y'all.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
OH GOD MY LIFE BE OVER
No, really. Losing the most important people in my life, having to deal with reading "Fresh and rosy-fingered Dawn" every five pages in the copy of "The Odyssey" we are studying in Classical Studies, failing German, crappy haircuts that apparently make me look like John Lennon, breaking my life line aka my mobile with no likelihood of a new one anytime soon, my dad being overseas for three weeks, lack of sleep; all of that, sure, I can deal [that was only half sarcasm]. BUT A HOLE IN MY FAVOURITE JEANS??? You have got to be shitting me.
I mean, come on, I practically live in these jeans. I had hunted for a pair of black skinny leg jeans that my legs didn't look fat in for freaking forever, and when I found them, well, I freaking wore them all the freaking time! I wear them to school, I wear them out, I wear them to church. I wear them everywhere. Sometimes I even wear them to bed. I wore them to Soundwave, an Australian alternative/metal music festival on a day with very high temperatures. They were filled with dust, but they lived through that awesome day with me. How, how can they die now? I do not understand.
See, this happened with one of my previous pairs of jeans also. The hole is suddenly there, so high up on the inside of my thigh that it's almost in crutch area. Okay, it's pretty much there. Yes, I know. It seems really suss. But. WHAT THE HELL??? I just do normal things that one does while wearing jeans. You know, sitting, standing, falling over, running, whatever the hell you do in ordinary life. Occasionally I'll slide on my butt somewhere in them but, come on. HOW DOES THIS FREAKING OCCUR?
I don't understand. Is it because they're really tight and I always sit cross legged in them and they just... frayed? I don't know! All I know is that, well, it's not really advisable for me to wear them any longer. I think I'm going to die. I have no other option. I love my jeans, I am a jeans girl. I cannot pull off trackies, which is why I only ever wear them around the house. I wear jeans on long flights, on long car trips, everywhere. They're so comfortable. I love them. This can't be the end of our long and beautiful friendship, in which they look good on my legs and cover my scars and keep me from having to wear shorts or the school skirt which I need to continually readjust and also expose my scars.
Not all that keen to be labelled the school emo.
Fuck my life.
P.S. Guys, head over to my friend Kate's blog and give some sympathy to someone who really needs it, having lost all information on their hard drive of the last three years. Devastating? It actually is, when you consider all the memories in the form of photographs and other such mementos contained on her computer. So. Send her love, she's awesome. (:
P.P.S. [10.01PM] I. Still. Cannot. Believe. That. Ifrickinbrokemypants. Broke all my phones, broke the keyboard thing, broke my friendships, broke every pair of headphones I have ever owned, broke my flute somehow, and a whole crap load of other stuff. It's official. I break everything.
In other news, I managed to score 75% on an in-class essay about The Odyssey in Classical Studies that I did practically no study for prior. I'm pretty stoked. Chuffed, let's use that. I'm pretty chuffed. But I can't keep fluking it. In the holidays, I will get organised. I want my TER (tertiary entrance rank) score at the end of the year to be a minimum of 90. Not sure if that's even achievable anymore. I need to check that.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
The Twilight obsession.
It is getting to the point where I may end up being one of those high school shooter people.
Enough with the tshirts, people. You are not Mrs Edward Cullen. Fuck You. The light in this room is blinking. That worries me. Back to my point. Edward Cullen is not real. Edward Cullen and Bella whateverthefuckherlastnameis are not proof of true love, because they and their relationship is not real. I don't care if his muscles are as smooth as marble and his paleness makes you scream. "Hold on tight spider monkey" because I am about to slap you across the face. I will definitely hurt you. And as for the movie; do not get me started. I can't take it can'ttakeitcan'ttakeit and I may snap and shoot you with a gun I do not have. As yet. Take that as a warning.
The movie is even worse than the books. So much worse. There are lines from the book which feature in it completely out of context and so, to any who have been smart enough to not read the book, makes no sense whatsoever.
Lucky me I got to see it twice in cinemas.
Okay the light just cut out. That's not good.
My own fault; I'd promised my best friend I'd see it with her when it came out (why for the love of god why) and ended up watching it with another friend first when she was in New Zealand. I begged, I pleaded, I cried; all to no avail. She guilted me over that promise and to this day I wish I had just broken my word. How can one explain the pain? Nothing was worth that.
Maths is great. No, really. I have a teacher who looks somewhat like a seal with an obviously fake weird shade of blonde wig and weird grey facial hair; as well as being able to move more silently than a ninja. I swear. He's also my homegroup teacher and we get along like a house on fire. Not really.
I hate my life. He's not that keen on me as a student, I miss homegroup as much as possible, then don't bring notes, deliberately flout his rules and leave homegroup to stand outside in the cool air; I don't listen as he reads out the daily notices, and bring in drinks that aren't water to drink in class, very against him. I talk when he talks, and, basically, am pretty obvious in my dislike of him. No one who tried to replace our homegroup teacher of the last four years was going to be received well by anyone, and I think he can tell.
I have to study for a Maths test and the parentals are home. My sister is making me Easy Mac since I find it too hard. I kid you not. I cannot make it. It doesn't work. Don't ask. I don't know.
Goodbye all.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Your Beard is Good
You know when you stay up late and you get the munchies? Cravings for something specific, too, and not just a random food group, like chocolate, chips or noodles... Well I just went through a lot of Doritos. And thank god we had Doritos because otherwise I would be sitting here rocking back and forth muttering to myself. Which, I mean, isn't that uncommon for me, but still. (It is uncommon for me. Really)
You may or may not know this, but my parents are Indian. I was born and grew up in Australia and god forbid that you ever should call me Indian because I will hurt you; but I say that I have Indian heritage or some crap coz I get technical about shit like that. There was this one time my best friend used this to prove a point she was making to her boyfriend; that he couldn't be Greek or half Greek with his one Greek parent (or maybe both his parents were Greek, it's been a long time and I forget) because he was born in Australia and since I wasn't Indian, by the same reasoning he wasn't Greek. It went something like that, I think.
Anyway, where was I? Doritos are good. No, I was past that. Ah. Not to be racist but I'm not keen on Indians. I do not like Indians. Okay, it's not that I don't like Indians. I just avoid contact with them (I'm really not helping my cause, am I?)... Apart from my family, a few people at my church, and Jimit, I don't know no Indians here (Thank god). It's not that I have a problem with Indians. I just don't want people to think I'm trying to start Little India here or something. When people move to another country, I think its important to try and participate in the country's lifestyle, culture, all that jazz. It really pisses me off when people move to another country and want to keep living as though they're in the country they just left. By this I mean countries which are notably different to each other. For example, India --> Australia.
It's all well and good to keep in touch with your own culture, hang out with people who understand come from the same place, keep the memories and stories alive. All that. But at least try to immerse yourself in this new place, or what is the point of moving? I even got angry at Daniel Brown for saying that he only became an Australian citizen because it was convenient, and told him to get the hell back to England. Okay, who am I kidding, I just like to argue with Daniel Brown. But, still.
I had a point (this happens far too often).
So when I became friends with Jimit I was all weird about it because, well, he was Indian. And I didn't want people to think I was like Daniel Brown, that is if he was Indian and female and awesome ;D but ungrateful for living in one of the most awesome countries ever (not that I'm biased or anything). I mean, in the respect that I just wanted to recreate India here in Adelaide and only hang with the other Indians. Even though I'm not Indian, but having Indian parents and all, I look Indian. But apparently not that Indian. I think whoever it was who didn't realise I was of Indian ethnicity was perhaps slightly blind, but I wasn't about to complain.
Oh, and I should probably be nicer to Daniel Brown, he occasionally lends me pens and money and goes on Maccas runs for us at lunch times...
Or I could just keep going the way I am and find some other hapless soul to borrow and extort from. It's not that hard. Apparently I look somewhat trustworthy. And I do pay people back. It just doesn't always happen as soon as possible. Hold me to this - Alex, I will return your five dollars, before the end of this year.
Besides, his name is Daniel Brown. He's one of those people, the ones whose first name can't be said on its own. He is simply Daniel Brown. Not Daniel, never Brown, occasionally Brown Daniel (one of the hang ups of having a colour / adjective for a last name); but either way his first and last name cannot be separated. Does he have a middle name? I don't know. It matters not. He is Daniel Brown. I dare you to call him only by Daniel.
Try it.
It feels wrong.
You'll see.
Ahem. So, Jimit. After being friends, we went through the whole "friends who also hook up just coz" thing. When I actually began to like him, I got very mad at myself. My one rule was "never get with an Indian". Okay I'm sure I have a few other rules but that was probably the only one I had distinctly thought out.
I justified it, though, because he had been here pretty much his whole life, had no accent (which would have been a major problem), definitely didn't think like an Indian (again, maaaajor problem that would have been), and yeah that's pretty much it. Oh and we'd had the same "never get with an Indian" rule. So we both broke that. After the "dating unofficially and half secretly" stage, we're now just back to being normal friends. Although to be honest we never really had that before.
I think you get my point. I go out of my way to avoid Indians. You probably got that within my first paragraph on this topic, after the whole Doritos thing. I'm aware that was completely pointless. What can I say? I do completely pointless well. (Yes, it is something to be proud of) (:
Hopefully you actually stayed with me this long. Because, besides the few I mentioned I like, and Russell Peters since he's funny (strange, him being a comedian and all), I have now found another Indian person who I wouldn't mind affiliating with. I'm pretty sure "affiliating" is something along the lines of "associating" so if I got that incredibly wrong and implied something I didn't mean to, yeah, just go with associating and pretend I'm right.
This Indian blogs, and he is awesome. Yes, I said it. I don't know why. But unlike me, he is "down with brown". I quote. But hey, I'm not racist. Really!
Anyway go check him out at Your Beard is Good. I don't really get the name either... But through my extensive research (read: extensive reading of blogs in order to procrastinate), I believe it might be something to do with The Office... Regardless. He's funny. You'll laugh. It's good. So go. (:
Saturday, March 14, 2009
No hope, no love, no glory
Why, why, why, does such a depressing song have such a misleading title? "Happy Ending", by Mika, I mean. Mika's songs, for the most part, seem to be overly bright and cheerful (or at least annoying beyond belief e.g. Lollipop). Case in point - Love Today. Not that I listen to Mika. Much.
I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it, and I still am. But come on, I listen to enough "emo", and depressing music as it is. Really.
The music to Happy Ending even sounds pretty chill. Not necessarily upbeat, but peaceful, relaxing. It's the lyrics that bring it down. Way down. I actually almost feel like crying every time I hear this song. But I still love it, damnit. I understand when I associate songs with memories that were good and now, circumstances having changed, make me sad and nostalgic. Or songs which I can identify with about bad / sad things. But this song is just gloomy and makes me sad. For no reason. And yet, I can't stop listening to it. On repeat. Far too regularly, too. Sigh.
As such, for the moment I'm rather pensive. Bear with me.
Tomorrow is Sunday. A morning filled with church, while I do my best to pay attention. I haven't had to try as hard to keep myself awake during the service so much lately; perhaps my naps during English Studies are taking care of that. Not that I'm too fussed about missing out on the worship. I need to try and find out what the music is for the second service, since I am supposed to be playing. I'm as highly enthused about that task as ever. Afternoon has been delegated with homework, since I neglected that terribly today. Year Twelve is going fantastically so far [/sarcasm].
Late afternoon is back to church for Bible Study. fjlkdjgpkfldjgflfd. Keyboard mashing actually is a very good way of expression emotions of frustration, anger, or distress. So over Bible Study. I don't care! Then, maybe to another church for their evening service so I can hang out with some of my friends from that week of community service I did towards the end of the Christmas Holidays. Speaking of which, I cannot wait to donate blood again! There's still another month and a half to go, but.
Oh and of course I'm heaps keen to actually be present for the service there and all...
Actually, I kinda am (no sarcasm here). Really.
I was talking to Nick on Thursday, or Friday, or something, if you recall those panicky moments I had. He told me something which I had forgotten. If I really believe that those friendships are so worth it, if I'm not willing to let them just go like this, then I should talk to the friends in question. He reminded me that I need to actively do something about it. But I have no idea what I could say. And I've been so scared since the one time I did try to talk to them. And yes, that is a link to a friend's blog, and it probably doesn't make all that much sense; half the post is about something else. And she wasn't there for the rest of it. I couldn't write about it myself, and I still don't really want to revisit it, so if you want a slightly clearer picture of what happened, you'll have to make do with that. Not that anything when it comes to Kate could ever be just "making do". (:
Anyhow, when I said "scared", I meant in the sense that it would go wrong. Again. And I'm scared of knowing for sure that they are content with leaving it this way. When that feels so incredibly, undeniably wrong to me.
I'm in a rambly mood. A purposely rambly, unlike most other times when I attempt to write about something and go off on several tangents, and tangents of tangents.
Hmmm, what else? I'm behind in a few of my subjects. Yes, I know. I wasn't going to do that this year. This was my chance for a new start and, seven weeks in, I'm fucking it up already. I'll fix this, I swear. In the meantime, my parents aren't very happy, at all. In that extremely unhelpful way they are so good at using.
I miss the days when I would stay up till 4 and even 5AM, aided by insane amounts of coffee, just to get homework done at the last moment. Because then, at least I was getting it done, on time.
My mum also is convinced that I have resumed hurting myself, by burning myself. With my hair straightener. On my neck. Even I am not that retarded! Of course, I'm not really willing to tell her that no, that's a hickey. That would be much more awkward. So her only other option is that I burnt my neck by accident, but I vehemently denied that it was anything when she first saw and asked by it. Way to cover up, Toivoa. That would be why I need my stories preplanned and all ready to go. I didn't even consider an accidental burn, although that has happened before. Oops.
So I've the rest of this dreary weekend to get through, with only the thought of a four dollar Mocha on Monday and a possible Macca's run at lunch time to spur me onward...
Well, now that I think about it, that's definitely motivation enough.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
What the crap?
What is up with noodles these days? Yes, I did a noodle post not all that long ago, but come on people! The issues that noodles bring are endless. Let's consider my current problem.
I am, as I type, in the process of trying to enjoy eating two minute cup noodles, in a "super big" and "mega" size. 100 grams, in fact. These super-sized noodle cups can be a great source of messy delight, but when in a flavour called "Smokin' ribs"? Even before opening it, smelling it, let alone eating these noodles; that flavour does not bode well for your tastebuds. It was sitting on the kitchen bench top as I arrived home, and I was invited by my mum to eat it, which I gladly went to do. Until I saw the flavour.
Smokin' ribs??
Just for a start, the apostrophe replacing the simple "g" implies a "tryhard-ness". Is it really that hard to say "Smoking"? Really? I know, Australians are lazy with grammar, spelling, and the like. But, even we are not necessarily that slack. So what are they trying to compensate for..?
And for the love of god, what has happened to the simple flavours we grew up with, beef, chicken, oriental; and those more daring, like chicken and mushroom? I know I've missed something major, forgive me.
Thankfully, we have not lost these classics yet (touch wood), but the influx of new, fancy flavours on the market, and not just among noodles, is something that disturbs and irritates me. We have enough choices to make in life already. Why make it harder for us who only want easy, quick foods? Is not my generation indecisive enough already??? I dread the thought of what today's toddlers will grow up to be like...
And as for McDonald's... Happy Meals used to be simple. You decided between chicken nuggets and a cheeseburger, the flavour of soft drink, and possibly the toy. And now. SO MANY CHOICES. There's the orange juice, soft drink, apple juice, and whatever other options there are for a drink; and then there are choices of apple pieces and God only knows what. It saddens my heart, my wonderful mega fast food chains who destroy people's livelihoods and nature and most things to bring us those lovely greasy fries, so well symbolised by your hallowed golden arches. Please consider slightly more. We do not come to you for healthy options. That we go to Subway for. And while Hungry Jacks and KFC also have their hold on us, nothing compares to Macca's with your beef patties that are best eaten without being seen.
I think it is now time for me to quote some lines from one of my favourite (and possibly one of the most random) books ever,
"I am Ronald,
of Mordor,
the Mage, the
Destroyer.
Taste the scorched fruit
inside my pies.
Chew the bitter towelette
of truth.
Die, you seedy little elves
who refuse to accept any
new menu items added
after 1975.
I scorch your loins with
coffee that sears like a
molten steel patty
flipper.
I smash your bones on
rocks of ice churned by
spews of cola.
I till your soil, steal your
potatoes, circumcise
their skins, cook
them in tallow
and tell you
they're vegan.
I shall castrate your
bulls, rendering them more
juicy and docile,
and I shall salt them with
hormones, making them
girly-cows.
You shall wander the
wastelands in search of fishwiches fallen from
the sky, frozen and plump
with weevils and sauce
of fiercest tartar.
My face is stripped of
pancake makeup,
staring at the sun,
burning, awaiting
balloons and a helium
canister that will never
arrive.
You ears shall hear only
the sound of a french-fry
computer that beeps
eternally.
You shall remain forever
parched with a
bottomless Styrofoam
drinking cup.
You, my imprisoned
sprite servants, I shall
deprive of both minimum
wage and nutrients.
My cooker writhes
with yellow frybabies
your lips shall
never taste.
I shall pierce your being
with shakes made of
ground bones, nay,
chalk.
You shall beg for death,
but instead shall receive
only laughter and
choking hazards
disguised as plastic toys.
In my costume of yellow
bib and coarse
enormous red feet, I will
smite you with burgers
laced with thorns.
Inside your bird nuggets
you will find razor
blades, rats and tumours.
The only real clown is a dead clown.
I ONLY MAKE YOU FAT SO THAT YOU'LL SIZZLE WHEN YOU BURN"
As you can see, it's incredibly strange. The book, "JPod" by Douglas Coupland, is obviously not everyone's cup of tea, but it is something I find highly amusing.
Anyway, apart from my divergance onto my inexplicable love for McDonald's, something that seems to afflict many teenagers; my original point is that weird flavours are a no-no for me.
My noodles taste terrible. Sigh.
And society complicates far too much.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Note to self, all those who would be poets
I'm no, uh, Edgar Allan Poe [insert any great poets name in here because I'm having a mind blank], nor any type of poet at all, but I feel that I need to put this out there.
Using long complicated words and intricate writing patterns to speak in the most abstract way possible does not necessarily make your piece of writing poetry. Or at least, good poetry.
Writing poetry is not my forte, it is not something I can do well. I accept this. But perhaps others also need to comes to this realisation about themselves.
Wow, that was bitchy.
To spread some love, why don't you check out Car Crash Hearts, whose poetry I do actually enjoy. (:
P.S. I know I've barely posted lately, and I do have my meeting Jamie of To Write Love On Her Arms [link at bottom of this page] to blog about; as well as numerous other things, but I have not been able to string words together, neither for school nor here. Wish me luck with that. (:
Saturday, February 14, 2009
"Sometimes I think she's crazy"
So, spoons. Not the game, nor any other thing. The piece of cutlery. Yes, I am blogging about cutlery.
The Dessert Spoon
vs
The Soup Spoon
We all know I'm a bit strange, but here are a couple of my quirks when it comes to eating...
Firstly, there are very few people I feel comfortable eating in front of. I know others wouldn't even think about it, but I hate people seeing me eat. If I do have to eat around people, I try to hide my face a little, as subtly as possible; or with some I will actually move to somewhere where they can't see me in order to eat.
Secondly, I eat breakfast cereal in the evenings more often than in the morning; I am one of those people who skip breakfast. But, whenever I do eat cereal, I will eat it with milk in a mug. I developed this habit when I was twelve and it's not that I couldn't break it; it just amuses me to be able to tell people this. And I do prefer it to a bowl.
Thirdly, in the battle of dessert spoon versus soup spoon (and yes, I did have to look them up to find out which exactly they were), I will, unless completely unavoidable, choose to eat with a soup spoon. I just think they are nicer. (: This has only begun over the last year, but I have come to appreciate the even roundness of the humble soup spoon's "small, shallow bowl (I quote from the omniscience of Wikipedia!)" as being far more civilised than that of the rather more uncouth odd shaped dessert spoon...
And I tell Shazz I'm not OCD... lol.
Soup spoons own. I hate that I use the terms "own", "devo", and "chill"... lol
P.S. He asked me if I could write about him on my blog haha.
No, I will not write about him at all! [/sarcasm]
I need to give him a name for my blog, suggestions guys?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
"And who am I now?"
I think I'm becoming slightly like one of those people who I never wanted to be but was scared I would become...
You know, the kind who would sleep around because it's what random guys would want, and it would make them feel loved and needed for at least a short amount of time?
Except I have a lot more self respect.
I'm asking you, if I do become one of them, virtual-slap me and make me stop. I don't want to be like that.
In other news, I have just learned some rather disturbing information here. Check it out. It's important that you know this. ;P No, really.
We had school photos yesterday. It wasn't quite as fun as I said over here, but where's the fun in writing that? And I did really use that much hairspray... My hair was immovable... which disturbs me a little. But, if truth be told, I have some strange fascination with using spray cans... >;D
I was about to rename my blog "Through the Looking Glass", or "Through my Looking Glass", but the latter could be taken by some as sexual innuendo... yes, it could. Which is not something I'm really keen for haha.
I'm very distracted and all my thoughts are over the place at the moment, so I may produce something actually worth reading later. For now, I aim to revamp my blog (:
xx
P.S. here are some pictures of me, when I decide to pose, wear eye make up, and give myself big hair aha. It's for another blog kay? ;P I'd actually be way too embarrassed to post them on MySpazz or Failbook at all... AND with the last picture, even as big as it gets, you can't really make out my scars on my forearm, it just looks a bit fuzzy. C:
Yes, a typical MySpazz shot
That's all ;)
[update on the Cameron situation] OOPS OOPS OOPS (I did it again). Cameron just texted me asking if I wanted to go to the movies with him on Saturday. That wouldn't be sooo bad. Until. You realise. That Saturday just so happens to be Valentine's Day. MAJOR OH N03S... I am otherwise occupied, I'm having a Star Wars / anime movie marathon during the day with my friend Nick. We are just friends and would never be anything more. Trust me. So I told him I was hanging out with a friend all day. He replied as I am writing this to ask if I am free for movies any other day. Considering I was caught not being with who I said I was with the other day and my parents are strict on who I go out with (no going out just one on one with a boy haha), I'm not too keen to repeat that anytime soon. Which I told him. He knows it's Valentine's Day, it's not just coincidence, because he wrote back to that saying "Okay have a good V day on Saturday". AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. No. How do I get myself into these situations? Okay, okay, I know how. I explained it in the post before last.
BUT OOPS. I feel so bad. Why? I just want to be friends with him. Friends. And not hook up friends either. Just friends. Help lol.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Typical toivoa moment
So today I decided to fry some eggs.
There were a few sitting there in the egg shelf of the fridge door, so I grabbed two as the oil was heating in the pan. All seemed normal...
The problems began when I attempted to crack the first egg. It was rather hard and when it actually did crack I wasn't paying much attention. I held it above the pan, trying to break it apart, thinking that what I was meeting resistance with was that filmy white layer you get just within an eggshell. Not looking, I was thinking, this is soo thick... :s Once I finally came up with the brilliant idea to look at what I was doing, I realised what I was actually holding was an already boiled egg, obviously done by my mother.... Feeling like a bit of a douche, I had another look in the fridge and took another 2 eggs from the carton I found there.
Now, this egg was also quite hard as I hit it to crack it. I got a little bit impatient and tried cracking it simply with the force of my fingers, whereupon it promptly broke and the egg splattered all over me...
I was left standing there, bewildered, with the broken pieces of eggshell in my hands and egg yolk slowly dripping down my top...
Friday, January 9, 2009
Hahaha
"If I am in an audience and feel as though the speaker makes eye contact with me more than others ?
is it in my mind? Seriously, The speaker looks around but sometimes the eye contact is even longer. Could it be because I look very attentive to the speaker and what they're saying? Do they sometimes pick someone out of the crowd to look at more than others or is this a mind thing on my part?"
Bad Questions for Yahoo Answers - For those who believe there's no such thing as a bad question
LOL
"Question: Can you rap about me?
I'm 25, 6'3, overweight, I live with my parents, and am broke. My life is a struggle. Can you write a rap about me? Best one wins.
Answer:
Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo
So my life is struggle, I don't like to juggle
I’m a fatty fat pants, I even eat ants
I’m twenty five, but at this weight who knows why I’m alive
Some wonder why I’m tall, am I even human at all
I never get any calls; I don’t even reach the mall
I always order in, and wonder why everyone’s so thin
I wish I could go out more, but I can’t fit through my door
Parents don’t want me anymore, cleaning up my crumbs is a chore
They want me to live on my own, cause they think I’m too grown
I post stupid questions on yahoo answers, while I’m at the computer eating apetizers
Chorus: (sing to the beat of we fly high by Jim Jones)
I stay broke, no joke, and you notice
IM STRUGGLING
twenty five, no lies
I'm alone and
So sad, no plaid
IM REAL TALL"
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Blah post
This is just another apology, I haven't been posting much lately, and not really replying to comments, I promise I will get to it as soon as I can, I'm really not right to do so now.
Or the last few times I've been on.
There are several things I wish to post about + others already in the works.
Look forward to the flood after the drought. The leaving the calm in the eye of the storm.
Or whatever.
P.S. I'm going to bed, it's 1.18AM, and I may have a surprise for you tomorrow. I mean, later today. Wish me luck! ;P Explanations shall follow if successful
Haha oh I'm soo cloak and dagger ^_^ Not.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
bahahahaha "Twilight" the movie
Oh God it's too funny lol
I've seen the movie and hated it, the books ehhh
All credit goes to the site where it was featured - Cracked.com, Elizabeth from Letters of Love who posted the link to this on Facebook, and of course the site it's originally from - The Editing Room...
ahahaha too funny. And so true.
This isn't the original review about it that I wanted to post, but I'm dying of laughter here XD
Even if you like / love the books and/or movie, read this. ;P
[edit:] okay i check out The Editing Room some more, link ^^^, it's actually hilarious, they do the same thing for other movies, highly entertaining ;P
"On Saturdays, we ask some of our favorite sites on the web to fill in for us. You get to learn about an awesome site you may not have heard of, and we get to watch cartoons in our boxers. Today Rod Hilton, creator of The-Editing-Room.com brings you an abridged version of the screenplay for Twilight, the movie based on Stephanie Meyer's novel.
FADE IN:
EXT. WASHINGTON
KRISTEN STEWART goes to FORKS, WASHINGTON.
KRISTEN STEWART (V.O.)
Once upon a time, there lived an enchanting girl named Stephanie Meyer, er I mean Kristen Stewart. She was so awesome that her awesomeness couldn't be contained in Arizona, so she moved to Washington to stay with her father, who was totally lame and not cool.
BILLY BURKE
Hey honey. I'm super lame. I got you a car, but it's totally uncool because I'm totally uncool.
KRISTEN STEWART
Thanks Dad, or whatever. Time for my first day at a new school. Since every coming-of-age story requires the main character be a social outcast, I suppose I'll have to endure being the unpopular new girl until I do something that proves my worth.
KRISTEN goes to school and is INSTANTLY POPULAR AND BELOVED.
ANNA KENDRICK
Oh my God I love your hair you're so pretty will you be my new best friend?
GREGORY TYREE BOYCE
Can I take you out sometime since you're so awesome?
MICHAEL WELCH
No way you asshole, I saw her first!
KRISTEN STEWART
I'd rather watch "The Messengers" than date either of you. Why don't you go ask Anna instead?
ANNA KENDRICK
Ohmigod I'm getting Kristen's rejects, that's so awesome!
KRISTEN STEWART
Wow. I guess this is what it looks like when the unpopular fat girl's pathetic daydreams get written down and published into a bestselling book. Aren't well-written characters supposed to have flaws?
ANNA KENDRICK
Flaws? Oh, well, um, I suppose you could argue that you're a little TOO perfect and amazing. But I don't think so. Let's make out.
Suddenly, ROBERT PATTINSON enters. The paleness of him and his family members reach blinding levels while the squeals in the movie theater reach deafening levels.
KRISTEN STEWART
Who's the albino Wolverine?
ANNA KENDRICK
Oh, him? That's Robert. He's universally acknowledged as the hottest boy in school but he doesn't date anyone because no girl is good enough for him.
KRISTEN STEWART
No girl is good enough for him? Man, the excuses closested homosexuals come up with these days...
KRISTEN sits next to ROBERT, who nearly vomits in his mouth and leaves school for a week. Eventually, he returns.
KRISTEN STEWART
Hey, where did you go? Because you are exceedingly mean to me, I find myself attracted to you.
ROBERT PATTINSON
Sounds like textbook daddy issues, you fat cow.
KRISTEN STEWART
(swoon)
ROBERT PATTINSON
You have a bright career as a stripper ahead of you.
ROBERT and KRISTEN continue not quite interacting with each other and having no chemistry what-so-ever.
KRISTEN STEWART
Hey, your eyes are changing color from gorgeous to ultragorgeous. What's going on?
ROBERT PATTINSON
Alright, you got me. I was acting like a jerk because I secretly totally love you.
KRISTEN STEWART
Of course! This also explains why the captain of the football team always acted like he hated Stephanie Meyer!
ROBERT PATTINSON
There's more. I want to eat you.
KRISTEN STEWART
Holy shit, really? I need to go home and do some waxing first, but...
ROBERT PATTINSON
No, I mean literally eat you. I'm a vampire.
KRISTEN STEWART
Hmm. The only way I will believe you is if you carry me up a mountain using special effects from the 70s.
He DOES.
KRISTEN STEWART
You really are a vampire! Does that mean that garlic, stakes, and sunlight kill you?
ROBERT PATTINSON
Don't be stupid. All of that lore is far too interesting for this movie. Being a vampire just means I get superpowers. It's like being Spider-Man, but sexier. Also, I sparkle in the sunlight.
KRISTEN STEWART
So that's why why your family moved here, because it's always overcast!
ROBERT PATTINSON
That's right everyone, this whole movie is a two-hour-long setup for a joke about the Pacific Northwest.
KRISTEN STEWART
So if you're immortal, how old are you anyway?
ROBERT PATTINSON
Over a hundred, but to be fair I've spent most of that time working on my hair.
The two of them GAZE into each other's eyes with UNCOMFORTABLY HUGE CLOSEUPS for 80% of the rest of the movie.
INT. KRISTEN'S BEDROOM
KRISTEN wakes up to find ROBERT watching her sleep.
KRISTEN STEWART
Holy fucking shit! If you weren't so hot I'd have you arrested! How long have you been doing this?
ROBERT PATTINSON
2 months.
KRISTEN STEWART
But I've only lived here one month according to the script.
ROBERT PATTINSN
Yeah, the script was written in six weeks. Don't get hung up on shit like that.
KRISTEN STEWART
Oh. Well, as long as you're here I guess we could have sex.
ROBERT PATTINSON
No, I can't have sex with you! I'd be unable to control myself! I'd bite you and turn you into a vampire! Also I ejaculate boiling venom, so I'd need to wear like fifty condoms.
KRISTEN STEWART
Wait, we can't have sex at all, and you can't suck my blood? How can you make a vampire movie without anyone sucking blood?
ROBERT PATTINSON
It's alright, I think this movie already has more than enough sucking.
INT. BILLY BURKE'S HOUSE
BILLY BURKE is cleaning his gun and drinking a beer while listening to country music.
KRISTEN STEWART
Dad, my boyfriend is coming over to pick me up. Try not to get dork all over him.
BILLY BURKE
Okay, let me meet him after the movie makes the film industry's ten billionth joke about protective fathers disliking boyfriends.
KRISTEN STEWART
Alright. Oh, and also: He's a 100-year-old vampire, don't say anything racist about vampires, okay?
ROBERT PATTINSON
Hello, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you, Kristen has said absolutely nothing about you because you're so lame.
BILLY BURKE
So I hear you're a 100-years-old. And interested in my 17-year-old daughter. So, mathematically that's like, what, a 40-year-old dating a 6-year-old?
ROBERT PATTINSON
Ummmmmmmm...
BILLY BURKE
Yeah, so my friend Chris Hansen would like you to have a seat right over here.
KRISTEN STEWART
Dad, you're embarrassing me almost as much as my acting! I'm just going over to his house to have dinner with his family, I'll be back before 11. Unless the ravenous vampires murder me, of course.
BILLY BURKE
Alright, just bring this pepper spray with you. It's literally the very least I can do to offer it to my teenage daughter.
KRISTEN STEWART
Daaaaad! Stop being such a loser, I don't need this!
BILLY BURKE
Really? Weren't you almost raped by four guys earlier in the movie?
KRISTEN STEWART
Yeah but I have a BOYFRIEND now, which means I no longer have to be independent or physically capable of doing anything on my own. GOD!
ROBERT and KRISTEN go to visit ROBERT'S FAMILY MANSION in the middle of the woods, because of course the FANTASY MALE should be rich, too.
INT. GLASS MANSION
KRISTEN meets ROBERT'S VAMPIRE FAMILY.
KRISTEN STEWART
Jesus, this place is paler than an Anne Rice book signing event. At least it doesn't smell as bad.
PETER FACINELLI
Welcome to our ridiculously expensive home. I'm the father figure of this family because I'm the one who turned them all into vampires. There's something disturbing about the idea that I've only turned teenagers into vampires, but let's ignore that.
KRISTEN STEWART
Wow, you guys are so close. What keeps this family together so well?
PETER FACINELLI
Funny you should ask. Let me tell you about Count Joseph Von Smith. One day a vampire named Moronula appeared to him and told him to find these golden stakes buried in a coffin...
NIKKI REED
Knock it off, dad. So, Kristen, there must be something really special about you for Robert to take such a liking to you and risk the lives of his entire family. Tell us about yourself.
KRISTEN STEWART
Me? Oh, no. I'm just a hollow placeholder for all of the teenage girls in the audience to project their personalities onto. I have none of my own whatsoever.
NIKKI REED
Oh. Well what do you like to do for fun?
KRISTEN STEWART
Mostly smoke pot on my porch in front of the paparazzi. What about you guys?
PETER FACINELLI
Vampire baseball.
KRISTEN STEWART
Ha ha, no seriously.
PETER FACINELLI
Really. Vampire baseball. We even have uniforms. Want to come watch us play?
KRISTEN STEWART
Actually, as it happens, the very last thing on Earth I or any other sane person would want to watch is vampire baseball, but go ahead.
They play vampire baseball, which looks exactly as stupid as it sounds to all of the males in the audience. The game attracts the attention of some EVIL VAMPIRES, who actually do the type of shit vampires are supposed to, like fucking kill boring humans. One of them, CAM GIGANDET, notices KRISTEN.
CAM GIGANDET
Oh man, that looks great, are you gonna finish that?
ROBERT PATTINSON
Stay away from her or my family will have to kill you. Specifically, we'll have to hiss at you like fifth graders pretending to be Dracula, and then kill you.
CAM GIGANDET
Murder, eh? That's one hell of a family activity. My family usually just plays Scrabble.
PETER FACINELLI
The family that slays together, stays together.
CAM tries to eat KRISTEN, a poorly directed action sequence ensues, and eventually he is defeated.
PETER FACINELLI
Kristen's been bitten! She'll be turned into a vampire within minutes unless you suck the venom out! I can't do it for some reason or another.
ROBERT PATTINSON
Since the whole novel this is based on is just Mormon propaganda for abstinence and bloodsucking is a metaphor for sex, what exactly is this advocating?
PETER FACINELLI
Look, all I know is that even though it's going to be REALLY HARD, you're just going to have to PULL OUT of her before CLIMAX. The climax of the movie, I mean.
He DOES. It's very DISSATISFYING.
INT. HOSPITAL
KRISTEN wakes up in the hospital, and ROBERT wakes up after her.
KRISTEN STEWART
I thought vampires never slept.
ROBERT PATTINSON
Script. Six weeks. Remember?
KRISTEN STEWART
Right. Well, thanks for saving my life after endangering it by inviting me into your dangerous world. Let's go to the prom together.
ROBERT PATTINSON
Actually, I think it would be better if we broke up. To keep you safe.
KRISTEN STEWART
From vampires?
ROBERT PATTINSON
No, from being typecast forever after this series is done. I'm screwed, but it's not too late for you.
KRISTEN STEWART
No. No, you can't ever leave me. Never. No matter what. We must be together forever and ever and ever.
ROBERT PATTINSON
Holy shit, you're a clingy psychotic bitch. Maybe we have a realistic high school relationship after all.
They stay together and go to the PROM.
KRISTEN STEWART
I want you to make me a vampire so that I can be with you, even if it means sacrificing my own life as a mortal.
ROBERT PATTINSON
So, the next generation of young women are currently flocking to see a female lead starring in a movie by a female director based on a bestselling book by a female author, and in this movie the main character wants to become completely submissive and self-sacrificing for a male.
KRISTEN STEWART
I love you. Put a baby in me.
ROBERT PATTINSON
At least the other three books can't possibly be more misogynistic and depressing.
They ARE.
END"
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
My Hunt for the Elusive Perfect Pillow
So my new "ergonomically designed pillow for side and back sleepers" from Ikea that "people just keep coming back for" [although why they would come back for more if they already have one is slightly beyond me, I suppose for the other family members but still...] has not won my obviously necessary approval... ^_^ I specifically told the saleswoman I wanted a pillow that was firm; but not hard, and definitely not too soft. Admittedly, this pillow was in between those by the standards of their other pillows. But I was suspicious from the moment I saw such a wide variety of pillows; no one needs that many pillow options unless have they have severe neck or back problems...
For the rest of the populace who just wants a pillow, what possible purpose could such a vast array of choices serve? Nothing but to befuddle the hapless customer so much that they simply take whichever pillow is put forward to be the best for them rather than try to make such a confusing decision all on their own.
How else would the ordinary middle class [free of back / neck issues] consumer decide to fork out up to $70 for a pillow that is essential a sort of bean shaped piece of foam and then yet another $30 for the special pillow cover to put the first item into so that that buyer's head may be more cushioned and appear to be lying on a pillow of normal shape during this mainly unconscious part of their life, rather than Pillow le Freak? Sure, it's shaped slightly strangely, but if you're prepared to pay seventy bucks for one pillow, can't you handle a little strange? Sigh. It's all about the aesthetics these days.
This pillow cover in question is not your average pillow cover which for all normal purposes would preserve hygiene in the ability to wash that rather than the entire pillow, and make it look nice in a customised way. Now, this particular pillow is firstly longer than most pillows, so that's a no to nice fun pillow covers. And because of its odd shape, said pillow requires the pillow cover which you insert the pillow into and it is cushiony and soft, and I'm sure its very nice. Necessary? With the global financial crisis, sleep may be the only time for contentment, so why not sacrifice some hard earned money for a little peace of mind? [NB. the global financial crisis doesn't really affect me directly since I don't have a job and my parents are the ones spending on me, but I'm not all that selfish.]
But at a hundred bucks a pop, I think I'll pass.
Now, my second hint that something was a little off were the names of different designs of pillows. It is my opinion that names, at least of objects, should indicate a little about their owners. Maybe these names mean something entirely related to pillow talk in Swedish, but as an English speaking citizen of Australia, I had no clue whatsoever what such ominous sounding names could mean. None sounded even remotely appealing to me. Here for example are a few I grabbed of Ikea's website [ikea.com.au if you're interested {Oh and the poor Northern Territory, they don't got no Ikea >.<}]: - GOSA HASSEL, GOSA KÄRNA, GOSA KLÄTT, GOSA RAPS. Oh and I'm sorry, it's not a pillow cover, its an outer pillow core ^_^. Why are the names in CAPITALS? They're intimidating enough already... What do such names conjure up in your mind?
Then, from the minute my parents decided to ask for assistance and the salesperson came out with the word "ergonomically" in relation to pillows, I knew this was a bad idea. However, against my better judgment, I kept my mouth shut; attempting to not be a pain and also trusting in Saleswoman's assumed knowledge. She works here, she uses words like "ergonomic", she must know pillows... She seems confident that this pillow is popular, although no figures were quoted [which could be bogus regardless], she's working with my specifications, maybe this is a good idea... Perhaps I should have recalled my friend who works at Baker's Delight, merely serving, complaining to me about how customers tended to ask her what type of bread goes best with *particular dish*; not really knowing, she tends to give what vague help she can while sounding authoritative. Of course, this was only months into her job, she seems to know better now, as I observed the other day while visiting her at work. Or perhaps she's just great at seeming knowledgeable about bread. Regardless, the same fundamental idea quite possibly applies to pillow salespeople.
Note to self: Follow your pillow instincts, and remember that the consumer market has essentially the same principles across the board, no matter the product...
Please take into consideration that I did not intend to buy a pillow from Ikea. I would have been satisfied with a new pillow from Kmart, Target, Big W, any department store is fine by me. However we were already at Ikea, shopping for furniture [and lunching. May I say, I don't understand the fuss about their food, I thought it quite average, although truth be told I only had a fruit flan since none of the main meals looked very appealing, and my family did say they were delicious. I'm a little fussy... But the fruit flan was nice. I like fruit flans, so it was nice that I thought it was nice, but it was your generic fruit flan. It wasn't rave worthy, no, certainly not. And for parents, yes, it's not just toddlers who are fussy with food; the stress of young children is nothing compared to that of teenagers, at least in my parents' eyes. I fully support them in that verdict, I'd be sick to death of me if I was my mother. Although I wasn't fussy at all as a child. Hmm...], and I happened to mention that I wanted a new pillow. Okay, I may have stressed that I needed a new pillow, and today; although I knew quite well it was not a need... in my defence, my neck had been rather sore for the last few weeks.
My problem with our current pillows? Well, you see, all the pillows available to me were either too thin or too thick, making for verrry uncomfortable attempts at sleep. I tried putting two "too thin" pillows together, but they were each thick enough that when together, were too thick, but by themselves, miserably flat. This was highly frustrating to me, and my sore neck morning after morning was not something I enjoyed. Thus the pillow hunt. Alas, had we but been at Marion [local shopping centre {or mall}] that day instead, at Harvey Norman, Freedom, or some other such furniture store in the vicinity, I might have ended up with a quick and easy choice to make, and a perfectly decent, non-ergonomic pillow.
Unfortunately, life doesn't consist of continual smooth sailing, and a pillow was bought for me from Ikea [Not the $70 one, but a 30 or 40 dollar pillow, which, although I am not a scrooge, particularly when it comes to spending my parents' money, seemed slightly ridiculous to me. Again, I should have said something, however it's nice when the parentals decide to buy me something that I think is at unacceptable price and do so quite happily and without complaint. I am guilty of... I forget what its called, but it is wrong, I know. And so, I hoped fervently that I would like said pillow]. Returnable as they are if within original plastic packaging and within 90 days, this story may also have had a happier ending, if not for my sister, missing the part of the conversation during the car ride home about how I should keep the pillow in its plastic as I trialled it [within a pillow case of course so I shouldn't suffocate; this being one of the pillows at a more regular size], and decided to assist me that evening by ripping open the plastic, as my mother and I watched in horror, unable to stop her before the deed was done. Here upon I was thinking something along the lines of "I must like this pillow, I must like this pillow" since it was now nonreturnable, costly, and I felt just a tad guilty because of the cost and non-necessity. In the mean time my mum freaked just a little and my sister had her "oops" moment. Really, it was all quite amusing.
With my positive and determined mindset towards the pillow, not to mention how it was ergonomically designed, how could I not like it? Pretty simple. It was still uncomfortable, no matter how I tried to convince myself I just needed to get used to it. After three nights, I couldn't take it anymore. However, salvation and redemption from any forthcoming guilt was still a slim possibility. See, my dad hasn't been too impressed with whichever pillow he's been using either, and he does have back problems.
{ASIDE: So does my mum actually, and hers + her neck problems are quite severe, which is why it's absolutely fantastic she continues to work as a carer at a nursing home. Which, if you don't know, involves lifting the residents, thus equalling very bad for her neck + back. But she enjoys working, she hadn't worked since my parents moved to Australia 18 years ago. She was very shy and after two years here, she had me, and then my sister, and stayed home to take care of us. She only began working perhaps a year and a half ago now, and only as a casual and relief, but still. I won't say it doesn't help the family although my dad's income is adequate, but I still worry about it. Please note that while I hardly get along with my mum at all, I do still appreciate everything she's done and continues to do for both I and my sister. She always puts us before herself, and while I disagree with some of her rules and such, she always has our best interests at heart, which I know even when I am arguing with her. And I do worry about her and want her to be happy and healthy and safe.}
So, my dad. My mum suggested, in store, that if I didn't like the pillow, Dad could try it also before returning it. Not that the return option is available anymore, but I am now hoping that he will find this troublesome pillow perfect. And, as I was taking it to him, planning to simply resign myself to one of the old pillows I was using before, he offered me a spare from my parents walk-in robe. I had seen this pillow before, but it is firm foam, hardish, and doesn't slope downwards around the edges. It's kinda high all around the outside so I've always been a little ehh about it. But, desperate for any kind of relief for my neck, I decided to try it. I haven't slept on it as such, but I did lie on it for a good half hour prior to returning here to blog, and it was surprisingly comfortable. I think I could definitely get used to it ^_^
(:
Haha so after the wild goose chase for my elusive perfect pillow, it may have been here under my nose [figuratively; the more accurate position would be on the other side of this wall in front of me and a bit to the left...] all along. While it wasn't the longest search in history, it has been a trying period in life for me. XD
And if you needed an example as to just how much I can write about completely pointless matters, well I'd say here's a good one. (:
I wish you all a good [due to your own perfect pillow ;)] night.
xx
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Hello world, this is me
For those of you who have recently started following my blog or would just like to know more about me, this is a little info on who I am and an indication of some of the matters I have and will continue to blog about. (:
One more thing before I begin, thank you very much for following and leaving comments, it's a great encouragement (:
I laugh a little too loud at my own jokes, I love a little too recklessly, and accidentally push away those I care about far too often...
I'm a little idealistic, I want to believe the best of everyone. At the same time, I'm that tiny bit cynical.
I want attention but hate it when I get it; I'm incredibly optimistic for a negative person, and I'm just as much of a contradiction as I'm sure you are.
To say I'm over-dramatic is something of an understatement; I overreact to each small incident as though it's World War III...
I love using quotes and song lyrics to explain how I feel and what I believe in.
I wish on stars and 11.11, although I don't believe in it. Just in case. Maybe you'll come back. I'm waiting. Hoping. With no idea what else I can do anymore.
I use faces a lot while typing to express the tone in which I'm saying something, sorry if it's irritating but I'm using age as my excuse. The main ones you'll see me use are :) ;) :( (: >=( >=| ;P :P :@[angry] :$ which are mainly derived from MSN. Then, there are these, which rather than being 90degrees off, are to be looking at full on - >.< which is a glare and >.> a sideways glare. I'm not assuming you're stupid or anything; I didn't understand what they were without an explanation.
Hey, at least I don't text type! Incorrect grammar is something I hate. Remember, I'm Australian, so it's not a spelling error when I write things like "realised" rather than "realized" or "centre" instead of "center"; we measure our temperature in degrees Celsius, weight in mg/g/kg, length in cm/m/km, etc. Sorry if that sounded at all pompous, it wasn't meant to be.
I'm really easily peer pressured, it's probably a good thing that on the important matters I have friends I want to please equally who have opposite views, and I tend to side with the safer ones, at least for now.
Call me old fashioned but I believe that marriage is something that should last forever, while divorce is understandable in some cases, a lot of the times, problems can be worked out if that's what both parties really want. I want to marry someone who I know without a doubt I want to spend the rest of my life with, who will feel the same about me.
People are the most important thing, above popularity, wealth, success, above anything else; I strongly believe that every person is equal. This does not mean that everyone is equal in skill levels etc., but rather that as a human being, they have feelings, hopes, beliefs, and different things they can contribute to our global society, and as humans they are worth no more or no less than any other, whether royalty or homeless person.
Money and possessions don't guarantee happiness.
The movement "To Write Love On Her Arms" is something incredibly meaningful to me, I can't quite put into words just how much it means; for something that has helped me gain the courage to live life, to take a stand for myself against the very worst of me, to believe in hope and to keep going, how can I explain that? Renee Yohe, who is the reason the movement began, is someone I look up to greatly. Read her story here
I believe in the need for community, that we all need each other. We are made to interact and live with one another. We are meant to support and depend on each other as necessary. It is the best way to live, sharing each others' burdens.
I believe that "Global is not a nice idea. Global is reality", that we as humans need to put aside what society tells us is important - putting self before everyone else. For my blog on that, click here.
Jamie Tworkowski's [of To Write Love On Her Arms] blog on the subject is here.
I believe in God but I am not a Christian, although I believe in everything it is about and was brought up in Christian home.
I believe that everyone deserves forgiveness and a second chance. Perhaps even a third or fourth, perhaps even more. Whether a person is capable of forgiving someone harmful actions that many times is another matter. But people do change. And if we don't give everyone another chance when they request one, how will we ever know if they are one of those who deserve this chance, who will change? Maybe I'm a little too forgiving...
I used to self harm and while I have stopped now [since the 2nd of July, 2008], and I strongly believe for good, it is something which has overreaching consequences and I still struggle with the urges to. I had attempted to stop in previous years, but relapsed a couple of times, but I think I am strong enough and have the right motives for wanting to stop this time. This used to take the form of cutting, burning, hitting my head, overdosing on painkillers, etc. It is something I feel is not talked about enough and many people write it off as something done by someone seeking attention, or "emos" or those who are suicidal. This is not the case and I think it is important to raise awareness about the realities of this issue.
I am 16 years old and in 2009 will be starting my final year of high school. With my interests being literature and society and environment, I will be doing English Studies, Classical Studies, German and Biology/preferably Modern History. After high school I want to go to Uni. I think I would like to be a nurse so this is what I am planning to study, however I love writing and dream of being a published author someday as well. My reasons for wanting to be a nurse are mainly that I passionately want to do something to help people, although I am fairly open and flexible as to where this may take me.
Writing is something I have done for years now, and it is something I have always seemed to be fairly good at, as others have told me. I am not so confident in my own skills, but would love to accept this. I'm told my writing seems far more mature than that of a sixteen year old, I'm happy with that. I find writing to be helpful when I am upset, confused, etc. I have rarely felt as helpless as when I was not able to express my emotions. I love writing narratives as well, as you can see in my other blog, however I am working on doing so with more regularity.
My family consists of my parents and my one younger sister, younger by 364 days ^_^
I don't get along with my mum at all, my dad somewhat, but my sister and I are fairly close these days (: I am very protective of her. And regardless, I love my family. My parents are Indian but both I and my sister were born here in Adelaide, South Australia and I consider myself Australian. In 1998 and 1999, my family lived in Auckland, New Zealand, and although it was great, we ultimately moved back here to Adelaide, which I have to say is even better, although many people hate it since it's so quiet and there isn't a lot to do...
This year has been a turbulent one for me. I became even closer with my two girl best friends and became best friends with the guy who lives across the road from me and also goes to the same school in the same year level. Three months ago within one and a half weeks, lost them all permanently, or so I thought. Miserable because of this, I resorted to overdosing on painkillers at school in an attempt to stop thinking just for a while. The last time I had done this was the 12th of November, 2007. My other friends who realised what I had done told our homegroup teacher; an ambulance was called, and I had to spend that night and the next day in hospital attached to a drip.
Lots of things have changed since then, I now see a counsellor regularly =/ but she's actually great. I think you'll find I am actually a very positive and hopeful person. I am still hoping to fix things with my friends, and just two days ago, my guy friend who I had completely given up on having him as a friend again began to talk to me. Things are still awkward but hope is pulsing through my veins so strongly that I am getting swept away. My friends mean a lot to me, but I overreact a lot.
During the self harm, I had been told that it was something I would later regret; however I cannot bring myself to regret any of it. There is no point in ruing the past, when we cannot change it. We can change the future and that is what we should focus on. Any bad experience can be made good of if we choose to, and often these things that we live through can be used to help other people. That is what I hope to do, to be able to help others who are struggling with the same things by understanding what they have gone through and using my knowledge to benefit them in some way, as Renee of TWLOHA has done for me and so many others. In her words, "that is what the pain was for, and that is worth it all, and more."
I will add to this later and any help from any of my friends who read this would be great ;P But that's all for now. (:
Sunday, December 14, 2008
"People Should Smile More"
So says (rather, sings) Newton Faulkner... [Kathleen's music is infiltrating my life]
However, while I definitely agree, I really think people should also blog more.
And, while I have been meaning to make my posts shorter, as they ought to be, after a cursory glance at my most recent (prior to this) post has shown me all too clearly that I still need to work on that.
Alas, there are so many words to play with, it's like an amazing game, seeing which fit together in the best way to make a delightful piece... I tend to repeat myself with different wordings simply because there are so many good options that I cannot bear to use just one...
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Never Judge a Book By its Cover
Okay, while there is some merit in the old phrase, we do tend to pick up books with covers that catch our eye.
But when it comes to this blog, definitely don't make the mistake of judging it by its title...
"Diary of an Old Fart" is the blog of a 64 year old (i think?) man and is a brief account of events in his day to day life...
While the title isn't the most flattering, he writes in a quirky, thoroughly entertaining and at times, thought provoking way; never going on too long, as I am continuously guilty of.
There is a lot of reflection and it's an insightful look into his life, I enjoy reading it, and part of the attraction is that it takes so little time, I can read it quickly and still get a lot out of those few paragraphs.
It's touching.
I love it, you have got to read it for yourself! (:
Click here.
This is actually really awesome
Yes, it's long. But it's such a great idea, I love it! Plus you get a free song when you subscribe to their mailing list... (L) Mae (: && LOVING FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS RIGHT NOW (: Album - Underdog Alma Mater (Y)
Subscribe to Mae mailing list for free song and updates
"As this new year begins, we are reminded that once again, on some level, our story begins anew. Our story is a collection of decisions that we work through every day. Those days connect and become years. Those years connect and become a life. Those lives connect and become a generation. Those generations connect and become history. We create and change the course of history with every decision. That is the power you hold in every one of your choices. That is the scope of your significance. You are a writer of history. It is not an option, it is a certainty. You may think that your voice is insignificant, but we invite you to come with us for one year, and we will show you over the course of that year exactly how significant your voice truly is.
Every month in 2009 we will be bringing you a new song that is part of a bigger story. These songs are like the hours that make up the day. These songs are like the months that make up the year. These songs are like years that make up a life. They are about the tiny choices we make that lead to large results. Sometimes these results are wonderful; sometimes they are terrible. We learn from both.
Three times during 2009 we will put these songs together and give you an EP. As we search to understand the meaning of our own stories we can shift our perspectives to see things under a different light. We expand our understanding in these moments. This is like finishing one chapter and moving to the next part of the story. These EPs represent the broad chapters of our life. They will be called:
(M)orning
(A)fternoon
(E)vening
(M)orning represents the beginning of the day, the beginning of the year, and the beginning of a life. It is our childhood. It is our fresh start. It is our new hope. It is the empty canvas of our minds and the beginning of our story.
(A)fternoon represents the middle of the day, summer turning into autumn, adulthood, parenthood, and the time in life to take control and write the story we want to leave behind.
(E)vening represents the end of the day, the return of winter, looking back at the end of our life, and preparing for death. This is the one time in our lives where our perspective is clearest and we see the arc of our story as a whole.
Here is the invitation and the promise. When you come to back to whatismae.com you will be able to hear all of the music for free. And we will make every song available as a digital download for a minimum donation of $1. Our promise to you is to commit every dollar earned through these digital downloads towards making the world a better place. We will be asking you to help us choose projects to focus on. The power of community is the strength of numbers. As we tie our voices, our resources, our minds, and most importantly our actions together, we will see the world change for the better over the course of this year.
Progress requires focus. In each of these chapters we will focus on certain issues and ask you to help us choose the best way to make a difference. We want to approach this in a way that aligns with the greater narrative. Here is how we will break it down:
(M)orning: [January - April] This is the season to focus on youth and help instill appreciation for music and the arts. Music is the world's language. It has the ability to bridge nations and to connect people. We have been changed by the power of music. That is a gift we want to share. Art goes hand in hand with music as a powerful voice of expression. Art shows us the world from the people's point of view. Art is the vessel of the human experience and it is a powerful weapon in the hands of truth. This is also the time to focus on education. Learning is what opens the doors to a better future. What aspects of the education system need our help? How do we educate ourselves to face the world's problems as they become ours to solve? These are the issues of Morning:
(M)usic
(A)rt
(E)ducation
(A)fternoon: [May - August] This is the season to consider the challenges we face as adults. The world is shrinking. We are connected through technology, economy, and destiny. No matter how diverse we are, we share a common humanity. Our unique cultural legacies should be respected and celebrated. Our wealth and prosperity inevitably rises and falls together. Who among us can truly celebrate our own prosperity when our neighbor starves to death? When we experience the world's poverty, it changes our priorities. Yet this economic progress must come with respect for the fragile and dynamic nature of our planet. We are building a future for our children and their great great grandchildren. What will their world look like? The choice is ours and we must consider this big picture with great respect for those who will come after us. These are the issues of Afternoon:
(M)ulti-Culturalism
(A)nti-Poverty
(E)nvironment
(E)vening: [September - December] This is the season to step back and see the bigger picture. We work and then we check our progress. This is how progress is made. When we make mistakes, we correct our mistake and resume the journey. We all make mistakes. What sets us apart is how we react to them and move beyond them. One day the students will become the teachers. One day the children will become the parents. Think about how we will inspire those who come after us to continue on the path to hope for everyone. What is the story we want to leave behind? Are we writing it with our actions? What do we want to world to be like? How do we get there? These are the issues of Evening.
(M)otivate
(A)ffect
(E)ngage
There will be countless opportunities for you to be involved during this process. We will be asking you to take photos throughout the year that tell us your story. We will use those photos in our art and in our live performances. We encourage you to share this music with everyone. Tell them what is going on. Invite them to be a part of this. We are your band and your community. This is a chance for you to take your love of music and make a difference in the world. You are the vital piece that completes this puzzle and we can not do it without you.
Our hope is that this music will inspire you to step back and look at the bigger picture we are all a part of. None of us are truly alone. Many times it feels like we are completely alone. In those moments, we hope that you find comfort in these sounds. We hope you remember that these words and melodies have been sung by many thousands of others, and their voices are tied to yours. We hope that your voice will sing along and find its place here in this community as we work together, as humble people, to make a difference in a world that needs our help.
To download "Somewhere," simply go here and use the password: thankyou. You can also read Dave's explanation about the origin of the song here.
Thank you,
Mae"
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
SHAZZ
i've been trying to comment your last post but it won't let me, our internet connection is practically dead atm >=|
anyhow.. there are gardening shows on at this time...?
and do they have those porn ads in between still..
i'd also like to point out the fact that i am, in fact, not sleeping. although i'm not watching any tv at all either...
also, just personally, creeped out by the idea of the Sandman. I think the reason is an Enid Blyton book... one of The Wishing Chair ones? No, no, Faraway Tree, and they end up in a bed and the Sandman chucks sand in their eyes and they fall asleep and the bed turns into different things but then whats her face, umm something wash a lot and whatshisname come up too and she wets the sack and then whatshisface slits the sack at the bottom and takes dry sand and throws it in the Sandman's eyes so he falls asleep and then they all maneuvre the bed out of the hole down the tree somehow, they have something that they use to make the bed fly...? so i guess the whole idea of the sandman slightly disturbed me since he was like some awful man who would have trapped them there once the land moved away from the tree...
:/
lol
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